The Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph - Fr. Leo
The scriptures today offer us much wisdom, even if it is clothed in the words of a patriarchal culture that is not our own. So before dismissing these texts because they are not politically correct to our ears, let us look for the wisdom they offer regarding family and society.
What is meant by a father being set in honor over his children? To honor is to love and esteem. So a child benefits from looking up to and esteeming his or her father. To honor is also to adhere to what is right, or to a conventional standard of conduct. Here, honor creates and regards a healthy relationship to father and to society.
In the second half of the same sentence about setting a father in honor over his children, we get an equally strong acknowledgment of a mother’s authority over her sons. What is to be given in regard to the father is also to be given to the mother.
It is in the home that we learn to love and value other people. So the model of the parents is the most important influence on the entire lives of their children. When there is love and respect in the home, it will contribute to the quality of relationships outside the home as well. As we relate to those at home, we will relate to those outside our family.
Paul offers guidelines for making a loving home in our reading from Colossians. He invites us to robe ourselves in kindness, compassion and unconditional forgiveness. All expressions of love which should be over all. So being a loving family takes work! Every member adds or takes away from the healthy unity of the family. The tension that arises is normal. To live one’s true self is to be an individual, which can cause tension in a family, it does not value the plurality of its members. That said, the tension can be like a refiners fire that challenges us to be fully alive as a member of a treasured primary group.
The Gospel offers us one more important aspect of family life. As Jesus is presented in the temple, he is recognized for who he is, the suffering messiah and son of God. Mary too is to participate in this redemptive suffering as her heart will be pierced so that the thoughts of many may be laid bare. All this reminds us that the love built up through God’s grace in family life is to extend to the entire human family as well. Every interaction a parent has with a child and children with each other, shapes the world, and can build the Kingdom, the Presence of God in our lives at every moment. In this, there is no insignificant interaction. The smallest things can make as much of a difference, or more, than the “big” things.
Let us be grateful this day for our families, whatever shape they take, and grow in honor toward each other, so that caring for our elders is a personal act of love unquestioned, and not a burden or a love buried in distance.